What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
