I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
