her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
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