Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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