He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
