oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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