No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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