Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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