we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i dont even know how to be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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