you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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