I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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