I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
