Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Randomize