Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
