The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
