so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
