I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
