Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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