it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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