Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
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We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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