at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
