I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize