By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
