Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize