We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
