I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
