Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
