Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
