WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
