Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
