If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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