she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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