no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
