so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
