their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
They have beer where we have blood.
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