hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
