OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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