Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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