I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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