The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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