You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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