Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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