is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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