awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
