I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
