i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
