and i looked up. we had an audience...
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
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You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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