$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
