You just made me feel so damn special
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
