Jerry, you need to find god
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Randomize
