Whod you bang
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
