Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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