I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
She tied me up with her honor cords...
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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