drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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