and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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