Already got asked if we're dating
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
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