I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
