just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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