a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.