and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
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He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that