Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't