I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?