she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I stole a fireplace last night.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?