I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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